Guest Review: Squigle Enamel Saver Toothpaste

My good friend Andy from Station Atomica! has once again written an awesome guest review for Review Bunker - make sure to stop by his blog to check out more from Andy, after the review. If you are interested in writing a guest review for Review Bunker, please visit the contribute page.

The Canker Sore Diaries

Here’s a news flash: Canker Sores Hurt and I Would Rather Not Have Them. However, the universe is a cruel, spiteful place and has seen fit to endow me with an almost super-heroic ability to develop and maintain canker sores the way the X-Men’s Wolverine heals wounds. As soon as one disappears, another starts up in an endless struggle to make me cry like a pansy when I go to a Mexican restaurant.

For those familiar with canker sores, you have my sympathies. For those not, try to imagine a tiny gremlin (like in the movies but smaller) who lives in the back of your throat. This gremlin will lay fairly dormant all day until you have the audacity to try to eat. As long as you can eat food without having it actually touch your mouth you should be fine, but woe unto he who actually attempts to chew his food. Now in this scenario, the gremlin will pull out the cutest of tiny shotguns and start to open fire on your lips, gums, and the insides of your cheeks. This is what canker sores are like.

Now if this was a canker sore review I would stop here and say that canker sores get 0/5 stars. But this is a toothpaste review, so why the hell am I blathering on about canker sores? Well, Squigle Enamel Saver (the toothpaste) claims to be specially formulated to reduce canker sore formation.

Squigle Enamel Saver Toothpaste Review

Squigle Enamel Saver bills itself as “mouth friendly,” meaning that it contains no harsh abrasives, detergents, or other unsavory substances that correlate to canker sore formation. After over a year of constant use I am ready to present my (highly unscientific and totally anecdotal) findings to the public: Squigle Enamel Saver Toothpaste kicks ass!

A little over a year ago, my battle with canker sores was nearing defeat. I estimate that I had at least one canker sore about 50% of the time, and that is ridiculous. Out of sheer desperation I researched canker sores online for a cause and possible treatments. Surprisingly there doesn’t seem to be many straight answers to these problems. Canker sore research is virgin turf it seems, but what little information there was pointed toward several causes, many out of my control or unavoidable. The exception was the ingredients in my toothpaste. This is where Squigle Enamel Saver comes in.

At first blush, the product comes off as one designed for hippies to use after a snack of granola and bamboo fronds. Phrases like, “Free of artificial preservatives,” and “No animal testing” adorn the electric blue packaging. But desperate times call for desperate measures, and despite misgivings I also feel when in the homeopathic section of my local Whole Foods I decided to order a tube (for the low, low price of $7.25 plus shipping).

More than a year has passed, and the change has been dramatic. My canker sore count has nosedived, and in fact I have only had two or three small episodes in the last year. I don’t care if it is unreasonably priced, this stuff has my vote for mayor, governor, and president if a dental product could hold office. For me, Squigle Enamel Saver Toothpaste worked extremely well.

As for the other concerns one has when selecting toothpaste, Squigle Enamel Saver stacks up quite nicely. What I mean to say is that it cleans my teeth well and doesn’t taste like a trucker’s armpit drippings. It also touts something called Xylitol all over the place too, which as near as I can figure out has decent plaque and cavity fighting ability due to being a sugar alcohol or some crap. Kinda like fake sugar that bacteria go nuts over but die because they don’t get the energy they need from it.

Squigle Enamel Saver might be expensive and have ugly packaging, but it gets the job done and has improved my quality of life about as much as a tube of toothpaste could ever hope to. My only gripe is having to order it online, as that is the only way to get a hold of the stuff. Recommended.

Squigle Enamel Saver Toothpaste: 5/5

Thanks again, Andy for the review. Look for more guest reviews from Andy in the future!

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